It was my assignment of Cross Cultural Understanding lesson when I was on the university. I just want to share it.
ABSTRACT
Most people in the world still regard that marriage is a must-to-do in the life. Most of people throughout the world admit marriage as one of natural processes of life, and is an important passage rite in life that all people experience as we can see everywhere in the world despite the diversity of lifestyles. With regard to wedding ceremony, however, each country and culture has its own unique tradition and style of festival. It is not just a congratulatory ceremony but contains multiple concepts representing the age, country or culture. Moreover, the form and contents of wedding ceremony are different related to where and who the groom and bride celebrate their wedding. After doing some research by reading book and browsing on the internet I found that differences of wedding celebration of Indonesian and western are in the contents, dresses, and ritual. That are what I am going to explain about in this essay.
Keywords: Marriage Tradition, Western, Indonesia.
1. INTRODUCTION
1.1 BACKROUND
Culture literary came from Latin word ‘Colere’ which means process, protect, take care of field (Soerjanto poespowardojo 1993). According to The American Heritage Dictionary which defined culture as a unit of behavior that sent from social life, art, religion, organization, and all results of human action and thought from a group of people. According to Koentjaraningrat, culture is all system of ideas, action and human activity as result of study. The other definition of culture is the way of life, especially the general customs and beliefs, of a particular group of people at a particular time.
The differences of marriage habits are the result of culture. They are interesting to be studied. Every country and region has different habits as a result of the culture. The habits include the dresses, pre-wedding activity, wedding, and sometimes mystical activity. So, there are so many differences in the marriage habits around the world. The world is contains hundreds of countries which each of them has different culture. Some of countries are also divided into some regions which also have different culture. In this paper we are going to compare the marriage habits between western such England, Germany and Indonesia.
2. DISCUSSION
2.1 MARRIAGE
Marriage is a social union or legal contract between people called spouses that create kinship. The definition of marriage varies according to different cultures, but is usually an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged. Such a union is often formalized via a wedding ceremony. In terms of legal recognition, most sovereign states and other jurisdictions limit marriage to two persons of the opposite sex. People marry for many reasons, including: legal, social, libidinal, emotional, financial, spiritual, and religious. These might include arranged marriages, family obligations, and the legal establishment of a nuclear family unit, the legal protection of children and public declaration of commitment. The act of marriage usually creates normative or legal obligations between the individuals involved. Some cultures allow the dissolution of marriage through divorce or annulment. Polygamous marriages may also occur in spite of national laws. Marriage can be recognized by a state, an organization, a religious authority, a tribal group, a local community or peers. It is often viewed as a contract. Civil marriage is the legal concept of marriage as a governmental institution irrespective of religious affiliation, in accordance with marriage laws of the jurisdiction.
Why do people get married?
There are many different reasons why people get married. The most people get married to be a champion, to live with someone they love, to talk to, travel with and share life’s challenges with. When life gets tough, it becomes manageable if you have caring spouse by our side. Whether you have a job or stay home, sharing a household with somebody at night and on weekends can give a sense of fulfillment in our personal and social life.
Another reason why do people get married is they want to have their own family. Raising a family with someone you love will be a greatest thing in your life. It is the most intimate relationship you can have. Having children and ding everything to provide them with a good life (food, shelter, education, etc.) are not easy. Kids need both a father and mother influence. When one or other is lacking, it may interrupt normal developmental patterns and social adjustments. There may be a lot of single parents who successfully raise healthy and successful children, but it is easier and better to have two parents who work together to attain this purpose.
For some, marriage is still a must-do before having children but by and large, we don't have the same cultural pressures to tie the knot in order to have "legitimate" children.
Although it is taboo to marry for any other reason than for love, some of the other reasons I have heard people say they marry include to be financially secure, to raise children with a specific person who they knew "would be a good parent," as a perceived rite of passage into adulthood, to alleviate the family pressure, and to avoid being alone or lonely.
In the Western world, people don't impose arranged marriages on people but some marrying not necessarily for love, but for shared religion, culture or language.
2.2 WEDDING
A. Wedding Tradition
a. Western wedding tradition
Traditional Western style of marriage, in which the spouse was chosen by a contract between families as in the Eastern marriage culture, was only limited to higher classes, and most young people relied relatively more on romantic love. One may declined a spouse chosen by the father, but the trend emphasizing family benefits was gradually changed to a new trend emphasizing individuals’ affection. In this way, Western marriage attaches greater importance to the union of individuals than to that of groups, and free dating based on love is the first step toward marriage. In case of the U.S., the custom from the European Continent had to be changed in the special situation of pioneering the West, and marriage through free association has been dominant since the early period of colonialism. The Colonial Law ruled that one was allowed to associate with a girl only after getting her father’s permission, but parents’ influence has gradually weakened over time. Like this, Western modern ideologies have also changed along with the development of society. The U.S. traditionally prohibited interracial marriage, but from 1948 when the law prohibiting interracial marriage was judged to be unconstitutional, marriage license began to be issued regardless of race and many stages followed this new custom. Finally in 1967, the Supreme Court in the U.S. ruled that all laws prohibiting marriage between a white person and a non-white one was unconstitutional. As a result, along with religion and class, race became less important in choosing a spouse and marrying. One of the characteristics of Western wedding ceremony is having various events after the wedding ceremony. Among them is the toast during the wedding reception. At this time, the closest friends of the bride and the grooms tell past stories about the couple, create a joyful mood through witty remarks, and propose toasts to the guests. Then the bridegroom eulogizes the beauty of his bride in front of the guests. Such events in wedding show the Western wedding culture that is based more on the couple’s love than on any other interests of the involved groups. Such history and culture of marriage in the West show that Western wedding culture has not been influenced much by other cultures, but it has created new concepts and customs by reflecting changing historicity and sociality and that the main characters spotlighted in a wedding ceremony are the bride and the bridegroom.
Western marriage traditions share a lot in common with wedding traditions from almost anywhere in the world. In fact, it’s somewhat surprising how similar almost all cultures are, really, when it comes to marriage.
Marriage is a solemn vow to love one person and to stay true to that person for the rest of your life. Marriage is not something that is entered into lightly.
1. Wedding ceremony
That said, the wedding ceremony itself does not have to be the somber and humorless event that many people seem intent on making it. A light hearted approach to the wedding ceremony does not imply a frivolous attitude toward marriage.
For many people a western-style wedding, complete with white laced-up cowgirl boots for the bride and a ten gallon hat for the groom, adds a touch of lighthearted romance to the ceremony. For others, a cowboy-themed wedding is a lifestyle commitment that’s just as serious as the button-down world of Madison Avenue.
2. Groom and bride arrival
In western tradition the groom and the bride arrive in a horse-drawn carriage. It is traditional for the bride and the groom to arrive at the ceremony and to leave the ceremony in a horse-drawn conveyance, such as a buggy or a carriage. It is also acceptable for both the bride and the groom to simply arrive on horseback and to leave the horses tied near the site of the ceremony. But sometimes the westerns do not follow this tradition anymore in this modern era except some of them.
3. Western wedding venue
The location of western marriage commonly placed outside under the wide open sky, or in a barn or other large building with a barn motif. Hay bales are traditional for seating. For the Christian it’s commonly held in the church.
Image 1: Western wedding venues
4. Western wedding dresses
The bride should make some attempt to look western, through a period dress, often embroidered, or white laced-up boots or by a hair-do that attempts to recreate the look and the feel of the 1880s Wild West.
The groom should wear shinned cowboy boots, possibly new ones especially for the wedding. He should be wearing new or pressed denim jeans, a checked or embroidered shirt, a vest, a string tie and quite possibly a black or a white cowboy hat.
Image 2: Western wedding dresses
Bridesmaids, ushers, ring bearers, flower girls and the like should be dressed in similar attire. Guests should be encouraged to dress more casual than they might for a more “traditional” wedding, but guests should be allowed to feel comfortable with what they wear.
The person officiating at the ceremony should be included in the Western theme.
5. Symbol
The alter may be hand-made and may include woven stalks of wheat and/or corn. Not only are wheat stalks symbolic of the old west, they are also traditionally symbolic of fertility and the continuation of life, dating back to at least the ancient Romans.
The releasing of one or more white doves at the conclusion of a Western ceremony is also highly symbolic.
6. Vows
The bride and groom may wish to write their own vows and their vows may contain western themes. Some couples go so far as to quote cowboy poetry or their favorite verses from popular country western songs. As the bride and groom share their first kiss it is often traditional for many of the guests to whoop and shout cowboy fashion to wish the happy couple well.
7. Wedding reception
It is common for the reception following a Western Wedding to be held at the same outdoor location or the same barn location as the wedding itself. One reason for this is that an open-pit Bar-B-Q is also traditional, complete with plenty of mesquite wood or hickory for that good old smoky Bar-B-Q flavor.
Steaks, ribs, chicken, lamb, hot dogs, burgers and corn on the cob are all traditional Western wedding reception fare. Sides include refried beans, cole slaw, and potato salad. It is not uncommon for bear to be served straight from the bottle, kept cold in a big bucket of ice.
8. Entertainment
Traditional music, either from a live band or prerecorded with a DJ, includes a variety of country western, blue grass and soft rock favorites, with ballads and slower songs for specific dances such as the mother/daughter, mother/son and father/daughter dance, and then faster and more up-tempo material for your traditional square dancing and line dancing.
It is considered a good idea to have a professional dance instructor to help guests learn square dance moves and line dance steps.
b. Indonesian wedding tradition
Marriage is a huge event of every couple. It is a relation of togetherness in a household life. It is a ceremonial event of two families meeting in wickerwork. It is really special!
In Indonesia, marriage is not only reputed as a religious ritual for a relationship. The marriage with all of its supporting is an adhere culture. With medley cultures in this country, so the wedding must be different in each region. Indonesia is multicultural country but it doesn’t mean every couple of marriage must come from the same cultural background. From the number of marriage in Indonesia, there are some resemble rules of it in each region.
1. Marriage Phases
The common phases that should be passed by groom and bride are:
First: Asking Permission Phase
Commonly, in this phase the groom visits the bride’s house to introduce himself and his family, and to know more about the bride’s background and her family. In the Sundanest tradition is called by ‘Neundeun Omong‘, the parents of the groom or someone who represents them asks for permission to engage the bride. Whereas in Betawi it’s known as ‘Ngedelengin.’ It is when the couple meet to introduce themselves each other under their families attention.
Second: Pre-wedding Phase
This phase commonly called “marriage proposal” or in the modern term is “fiancé”. In this phase the groom asks the bride in marriage and sometimes it’s continued to determine the date of marriage. The Banjar tradition calls this phase by ‘Badatang’, a process asking the bride in marriage. It is different with Solo’s tradition. Solo has ‘Panembung’ which means asking in marriage. Asking in marriage in Solo is not suddenly answered by the bride side on that day, but the days after it to be muse by the bride.
Fourth: Gift Phase
In this phase the groom side gives a gift to the bride side. The gift commonly is something related to the wedding or something special for the bride. The Batak people has a term ‘Pudun Sauta’, when the groom delivers a cup filled by rice and dish to the bride side. Whereas in Ambon, the people has ‘Antar Pakaian’, when the groom side gives a set of wedding dress for female to the bride side and the bride side also gives them a set of wedding dress for male.
Fifth: Wedding Phase
Commonly this phase is the main phase of phases. It is when the couple both the groom and the bride expresses their faithful appointment. In ambon tradition there is ‘Basumpah kawin’, or swear for marriage, in Javanese tradition there is ‘Sowan Luhur’->’Wilujengan’->Pasang Tarub’->’Pasang Tuwuhan’->Siraman’->’Sengkeran’->’Widodareni’->’Ijab nikah’. The Sundanese have their own phases, they are ‘Ngabageakeun’->’Akad Nikah’->’Sungkeman’->’Wejangan’. Balinese has ‘Mewidhi Widana’ when the groom and the bride revere the God headed by a Sulingguh. It’s different with Batakese ‘Manjalo Pasu-pasu Parbagason’. All of them are wedding receptions which exist in Indonesia.
Sixth: Reception Phase
Reception phase is a wedding party of the unity of the groom and the bride in a relationship. This phase commonly filled by entertainment and dish service which served in a special wedding menu. Ambonese usually hold ‘Piring Balapis’. It is eating together with the continuously changed dish following whistle command, then continued by ‘Dendang Badendang’ which the groom and the bride singing together with all audiences. In Sundanese tradition there is ‘Saweran’, the groom and the bride throw some money to the guests who are running which means deviding God’s blessing. In Bali we can find ‘Mejauman Ngabe Tiput Bantal’, an saying-good bay agenda after wedding phase in Bali tradition by dividing food to each guest.
The above description are common phases which are must be passed by the groom and the bride in all regions in Indonesia. We can conclude that Indonesia with its cultural differences has a characteristic in phases among one tradition with others. It is so medley but still unite.
2. Indonesian wedding dresses
Indonesian wedding dresses are different with western. Indonesian use to wear traditional dress refers to what ethnic the couple is coming from. When the groom and the bride are Javanese they will wear, the groom will wear ‘beskap’ with ‘blangkon’ on his head and the bride will wear ‘kebaya’ with ‘sanggul’ on her back head.
Image 3: Some Indonesian wedding dresses
3. Indonesian wedding venue
Indonesian wedding venue commonly placed indoor not outdoor. If the wedding is for rich family the venue will take place in hall, or ballroom hotel. But if the family is not rich the wedding sometimes takes place in home or in large temporary hut.
3. CONCLUSION
Those are the differences of western and Indonesian culture in wedding habits. Culture is the result of human activity in current place so the different place that western and Indonesian live in has become a factor of these different habits.
Although they have different habits but some activities are same. For example, making appointment in wedding ceremony both western and Indonesian have it but different in performance. Both of them also use to wear special dresses in wedding in spite of different type related to their own tradition.
These are the beauty of differences; I hope it can be useful for us to know other culture in order to strengthen our relation with other people around the world.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
Drs. Yan Mujianto, M.Hum, Dr. Zaim Elmubarok, M.Ag, dan Sunahrowi, S.S.M.A. 2010. Pengantar Ilmu Budaya. Yogyakarta: Pelangi Publishing.
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